A dear friend of mine, who shall remain in anonymity, once showed me e.e. cummings’ i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart). As clichéd as it sounds, I loved it. In the course of this past semester, I enrolled in a composition class. In this class put my big boy pants, and I set this poem to music. It was an uphill battle (choosing the singers, rehearsal time) in short, a battle. I won the battle and the war! Here is the finished product, while not perfect, it is pretty darn close. I hope this a start of a new, complementary chapter in my life.
If you want to commission me for a choral piece, do not hesitate in doing so! Without further ado, i carry your heart with me (i carry it my heart).
Ethan Q. Ivey
José Clavell, conductor
And so the third week of class is coming to and end. It’s been… hectic to say the least. This semester I have a composition, music history (fin-de-siècle in the 19th century and the 20th century), choral conducting, graduate theory and analysis, and ensembles. For this semester I have the following projects (for now):
-Songs of Nature by Robert Young
-Brahms’ Song of Fate
-From Light to Light by Aaron McDermind
Graduate Theory and Analysis
For now I’ve been analysing Chopin Preludes and Bach chorales from left to right, it will be fun to see what other stuff I get to do
Music History (fin-de-siècle in the 19th century and the 20th century)
-Duka’s Ariane et barbe-bleue (Opera analysis). I know… I have to continue with my French obsession.
-Debussy’s Trois Chansons de Bilitis
(among a million readings)
-Music, music and more music!!
-Text by e.e cummings. Poem: “i carry your heart with me”. Voicing: 8-10 part mixed chorus.
Also, fun facts:
- The university is doing a Choral Conducting Competition! I am going to participate. This reminds me of the anime Nodame Cantabile (a 20-something conductor who goes out of his hometown in Japan to pursue his dreams in Europe). Let’s see how this goes!
- I already have 1/3 of my composition done, and I have the skeleton for the rest of it!
- It has been -25 degrees (or at least feels like it) for two days… maybe three. I thought I liked the cold, but this is ridiculous!
This semester is going to be a hectic one, but I know I can tough it out. On a bright side, I do have a lot of ideas for future posts. I only ask for you to be a bit patient for I don’t have much time to post as before!
And so my winter break is coming to an end. Next Monday I start my second semester of graduate studies, where I shall immerse myself anew in music, music, and music
(and the midwest weather). Between a musicology course in twentieth-century music to twentieth -century musical analysis, choral conducting, graduate musical composition, and ensembles. This semester will be challenging, but rewarding, I’m sure. Let’s see what this semester brings. Up until now I will be a part of the IMEA in Illinois, and there might be a slight (very slight) possibility that I can get enough funds to go to the ACDA convention this year. If I get the chance, it would be amazing. It’s still somewhat incredible and humbling coming back to the island and meet again my professors and peers. The pressure is still on when the hint, again, that I am the “new guinea pig” because before me nobody has done a Masters in Music, specially Choral Conducting. I just have to work harder this semester. As we say in the Choral Department (thanks to me) “If you try hard enough and believe in yourself…”
Finals are done, and I’m back home in Puerto Rico for the Winter Break. Coming back home is good. I’m still not accustomed to the change in temperature. Living in twenty-something degree weather (that feels like ten-something because of the wind chill) to the drastic eighty degrees with seventy percent humidity is… taxing. Nevertheless is good to be back, at least for two weeks or so to say hello to the family (in person and not by FaceTime) and see some familiar faces. So far, I crashed a choral rehearsal from my undergraduate. Saw my highschool/undergrad voice teacher, and my choral conducting/literature/methods professor. It’s been good, but bittersweet. It has put a lot of things in perspective, such as family, friends and what I want to do in my life.
I’m still debating coming back to the island after I receive my Masters degrees. In one side it would be returning to my comfort zone. On the other, it would be returning to a place where I know I could find a collegiate work opportunity, because of my networking. I don’t know if the job opportunity would be a stable one, but with the way things are back here, it is… daunting. When I came here, teacher’s went on strike, and the overall teaching opportunities/lifestyle are light and day in comparison of what I’ve seen in Iowa and in Illinois. These past six months of actually living alone, in a place where no one knows me has made me seen life in a different ways, and I’ve remembered and learned new this. Some of these are…
- No matter where you come from, people judge you (or should judge you) for your actions and how you present yourself.
- Everybody should deserve a chance for every job opportunity.
- Don’t tell everybody that you don’t have something, do something and find something similar.
- Family is only a phone call/text/FaceTime session away.
- Family can also be your close friends.
- If you try hard and believe in yourself… (inside joke)
- Everybody can pass through a storm, they maybe unresponsive and not believe your words, but they can appreciate (or so you think) that you are a phone call/text away.
- No matter what happens, you have to work hard, because in the end it’s your future. Your life.
- Pick people’s advice like a grain of sand.
- Only the past is set in stone, the present is a gift, and the future as the sea’s wave. Even though the past is set is stone, do not throw it to the sea for the waves will carry it back to shore.
- Drink wine.
- Graduate School helps you use the most obscure and random scholarly words just to make your argument that more… scholar.
- It is in our scholarly duties to make up words so that other scholars can use them, and so the scholar circle begins.
- Personal style evolves. I still laugh when people say I have good fashion taste, if they could see me in my undergrad…
- Mozart is in fact from the 54th, later 45th century. He was possibly a woman, and he did in fact use non-human technology. He may have been indeed a reincarnation of The Doctor.
- The Doctor Donna is a professor of mine, also she is hardcore. Also, she loves French stuff so when you do a research project in French Chansons, you better werk if not she will shred you to pieces. Good for me, I rocked my paper AND presentation.
- Musicology might be a career move for me, or at least be a minor in my doctoral degree
- Always hope for the best, even when things seem dark.
- Just as in BBC’s Merlin. “The Darkest is just before dawn“. And, Just as Dumbledore said “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light”
- Yes. I am a huge nerd.
- Study hard, but nobody can part-ay like happy choral grads who laugh so hard that they fall from their chairs, and then laugh harder. (looking at you, yes you.)
- IF you put three choral grads in the same hotel room, they may or may not start laughing. This laughter would be loud (in harmony, with a certain counterpoint), and it WILL last for AT LEAST 30 minutes. The undergrad in the room would later tell you, “I though you guys were going to be all serious.”
In short… if I’ve learned or re-learned some of these things in a short amount of time, I know that I have so much more to learn. All you can be in life is a sponge, learn from everything.
Happy Holidays from Puerto Rico
As part of my first semester in Graduate School, I had to enroll in a Graduate Research class supervised by Dr. Anita Hardeman. The abstract for my paper is the following:
After the end of the Second World War, Henk Badings, a Dutch composer, wrote his Trois Chansons Bretonnes. Seen as the continuation of the nineteenth century German composers equivalent to Brahms and twentieth century Hindemith, Badings, changes his composition style to accommodate Parisian techniques with a Romantic flair. In changing his composition style, Badings allowed his music accommodates textures, chord coloration, and text painting in his choral scores so that his compositions could be presented without interruption. With this style change, Badings’ choral compositions have a distinguishable Debussy, Ravel, and Poulenc influence, specifically. The purpose of this paper is to acquaint the reader to the Dutch composer, Henk Badings. Second, to cross-reference and identify inspirations from French compositions such as Claude Debussy’s Trois Chansons De Charles D’orleans and La Cathédrale Englutie: Profondément calme, Maurice Ravel’s Trois Chansons, and François Poulenc’s Un soir de neige. As a method of analysis, I will reference art vocabulary, specifically en plein air, divisionism, pointillism, and score analysis to enhance this study’s comprehension.
In comparison to the scores mentioned before, Badings’ Trois Chansons has many similarities and differences. For example, the piano accompaniment to one of Badings’ Trois Chansons: La nuit en mer is similar to Debussy’s piano prelude La Cathédrale Englutie: Profondément calme due to the use of arpeggiation and thematic development. Also, Bading’s chansons have a similar vocal exposition and development to Debussy’s chansons. In allusion to Poulenc’s Un soir de neige, Badings’ chansons have similar modulations and phrase structure. Regarding to Ravel, Bading’s structure is somewhat close, but it is not in tune with Ravel’s chord progression and form. By being influenced by these French composers, Badings differentiates himself from his contemporaries, and paved the way for new composers using Neo-Impresionistic art features in combination with his music.
The playlist for the eleven scores I had to analyze and compare is in the link below.
And so, Thanksgiving break is upon us in Western Illinois University. Now. If you’re a graduate student you realize that “break” is something that is found in mythology. As the semester starts to close you can observe graduate students with less hair, irritability, frustration and perfumed in desperation. Deadlines close in, projects and papers are due. First or Second drafts are received, in a nutshell lots of paperwork. Before you start eating that turkey, remember that:
- The organ point does indeed mark the end of a phrase.
- The first draft will always be the crappiest crap you have ever crapped. No worries, it can’t be that bad, right? RIGHT?!
- When deadline approaches, you can see the graduate student drinking coffee and different types of alcohol. Remember you’ll sleep when you’re dead so, drink alcohol to get ideas, drink coffee to actually finish your ideas because WRITE CHILD! WRITE! THIS IS DUE!!! *please read capitalized words in the “THIS IS SPARTA” tone*
- Remember to TRY and rest.
- If you’re an avid coffee drinker, do NOT go a day without drinking it. You will crash. It will not be pretty.
- Meet friends that are life family, it will make this passing week better.
- If your advisor says that you can do certain things it’s because they can see something in you. I have found that if they actually say something, it’s because they mean it. As in:Me: So… about my paper. I know it sucks.
Advisor: Jose. You’re paper does not completely suck. Remember it’s the first draft.
Me: (thinking)Yeah, it kind of does. Well… I think it is that is the crappiest crap that has ever been crapped, but I think I can improve it by the final deadline.
Advisor: Yes. It has much potential, and again your motivation and organizational skills are excellent so I am assured that you will work hard.
Me: Yeah. I will. All I want to know is… does it has potential?
Advisor: OF COURSE IT DOES! Your perspective in how Debussian style piano arrangements in comparison to a four voice harmony with polytonal perspective and how these mesh with pointillism and French Impressionism from the 19th century is very interesting. You only have to talk as if you’re talking to non-intelligent people. Aka: people who know nothing about your topic.
Me: Ok. I just have to take the reader’s hand and take them on a journey (thinking of “I can show you the world” from Aladdin.)
As you can see, my advisor is awesome. Also, I am just stressing myself too much (it has to be something in my genetics…). I just need to breathe, try to relax and do this. You know what world? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
On the twelfth week of Grad School, my baton said to me: ‘member all that’s happened to thee…
- I am stronger than I look, wiser than I know, and a hell lot a braver than most people I know.
- Sometimes slow and steady wins the race, sometimes it just means your dead.
- Show the ictus, my child, then they will rejoice in the Lamb…
- No matter how awesome you thing the idea for a section in your paper is, chances are you WILL NOT know how to put it into words, hence the frustration cycle begins.
- I can work under pressure *dum dum dum duru dum dum*
- The number of scores/things you have to do for a specific week will be equivalent to the motivation you have in NOT doing it. This is multiplied by 9 for when you get your weekly breakdown.
- If I think I don’t have an Independent study class, maybe it will go away.
- And now I started to sing Meldelhson’s Octet…
- with a rhapsody of Lully’s Laudate Domino
- You really know you love X musical period. In my case, Romantic music. Because let us SHOW YOU HOW MANY FEELINGS WE HAVE WITH THIS CHORD AND THESE DYNAMICS!
- You may have nightmares of losing your assistantship because of reasons…
- Realizing that you do want to be a Doctor in Music is epic.
- Bonding with fellow graduate students is cool.
- Sometimes having alone time is needed.
- Sometimes saying “NOPE. Not doing anything today!” is necessary. Be prepared for having a little meltdown the following day because you procrastinated. Notice how the graduate student comes back to his natural habitat, made out of choral scores, scholarly articles, and Doctor Who references. This scholarly igloo made out of responsibilities, will keep the graduate student (who’s not form the United States) warm from the upcoming winter.
- Practice, young Padawan, Practice.
- Christmas Carols are hard to memorize, but huge pieces of Masterpieces can be memorize in a one, a two, a three, let’s go!
- Everything is a song cue.
- Even though I may not notice it, I am getting better.
- Stop being a perfectionist. (Easier said than done).
- To every family member, when your son/brother/sister/sibling says he/she want to go to Graduate School, give them a crockpot.
- Crockpots are good for pianists.
- No matter how much you try… the Ole will never vanish. It is called HERITAGE. Sorry.
- Having a tour, a paper due, and a presentation on the same day will make you crazy, but… it will make a Man out of you. *cue Mulan music*
- Yes. This post may not be very coherent. Sorry. This graduate student hasn’t slept in a while.
- You will start to lose count on how many coffee cups or caffeinated beverages you drink in a day.
- There is power in numbers. For example, let’s count how many scores you have to give a graduate student so that he/she can cower in fear (and be more nerdy than before).
- When your first undergrad mentor is recognized by your hometown, it is totally acceptable for you to Skype with a fellow friend, and for her to basically go everywhere so that you can talk to everyone. Including your three mentors from undergrad, more than 15 choristers, more than 5 teachers, and so much more.
- Going to Chicago for Thanksgiving, makes this guy very excited.
- Hoping that when this degree is over, I will have made life-long friends and colleagues.
- Knowing that when I finish this degree, I’ll be even better and stronger that I was gives me hope for my career.
Wow… it’s been more than 10 days since I’ve updated from the grad school tag. Grad school is… still intensive. Not as intensive as before, ’cause I am getting the hang of it, but intense nonetheless. At least, I am getting better in my conducting, in internalizing this harmonic system, and getting to be “myself” in front of the choir. Things I need to finally get into my head…
- nothing will be perfect or go as you think it will.
- Just like Wagner stated in his article “Art takes time”
- nothing will change in a day
- Keep practising, done? Again.
- I’m here for a reason
- I am good at what I do and I should just stop self doubting
- If the University gave a fall break, it’s because it’s NECESARRY. Stop overthinking and doing and give yourself a free day!
- have more fun
- Musicallity cannot be taught, it comes from within
This past week has been… draining. Emotionally, Physically and Mentally. It’s been a hard week to be a grad student. Too many things going on at once. At I really felt I was going to die, but never fear the GSSS is here (graduate school support system). This is what I’ve learned this past week in Grad School
- Windows sucks. (Sorry Ethan.)
- Apple technology WILL fail you during your first presentation, no matter how much you check your tech. It. Will. Fail.
- Remember to think about how you’re going to present something. Remember and practice how you’re going to breathe. This will be for naught. The nerves will kill you. No matter how much you practice or are accustomed in doing presentations.
- Tequila shot(s) after a hard week can and will make you feel better.
- Do not take ibuprofen at least 24 hours before you take your tequila shot. (Did not happened to me, but still good life lesson)
- Scholars want to kill you of you write it, it’s, or anything similar. Also, the professor will want to EXTERMINATE YOU if you do. She will haunt you down, and kill you. Maybe she’ll be merciful and do what the 9th doctor did to the aliens who wanted to live forever….
- You had to do a presentation? No worries the day afterwards we will give you TWO articles to read and analyze as about quantitative things. You can handle it. We know you can.
- Need a breather? Here’s a Theory test for you. Easy!
- I know we don’t like viewing ourselves doing a presentation. No worries. You still have to do it.
- You need to learn a whole period for next week. You can do it. I won’t tell you how I will ask you though. May the oods be ever in your favor.
- I should really try to sleep more.
So. The moment has come. Between tomorrow (Saturday) and Sunday I have two Graduate Advisory Exams on Musical Theory and Music History. On Monday I begin my first semester as a Grad Student and Graduate Assistant for Choirs at Western Illinois University. You may ask, how do you feel? To that, my dear Watson it’s Overwhelmed. A good and a bad kind of overwhelmed. How is that possible you may ask well, let’s be all Grad Student and use points *insert CNN news music here*
- I think I’m not in Kansas (Puerto Rico) anymore. When I say this it’s awesome and terrifying at the same time. I’m alone. Nobody knows me (yet), my professors, advisors, and supervisors don’t know how exactly I work. So this is a chance to prove myself that I know my stuff and that I can grow.
- The School of Music is big (at least to what I’m used to). I’m used to a small (intimate) Music Department so when you show me a list of… 20? 30? music professors and that you have minimum 100 students in a specific program in the School of Music you get shocked (in a good way). It’s refreshing to see the School and know that you may be teaching/assisting in the Professors in what you love.
- You can’t geek out to your friends and family about everything you see (in person).
- You are (somewhat) terrified for you don’t know what is going to happen, but you know that you must face the storm and deal with it.
- I have a lot to do and… I LOVE it. (That’s what he says now. Let’s check in Mid September and in October.)
In these past two days, I’ve been in and out of Faculty reunions & Graduate Orientations. Now, all of this is really … how should I put it in words… epic. Why? Because it’s all new to me. And what my friends and family know is that I love the Academia world. I live for it. That’s what Third grade Jose wanted to be when he grew up and now where is he? In an hands on opportunity in being in the Academic world, and in the hopes in becoming “Americas Next Top… Choral Conductor”. (Who wants to be on top? Me. Sorry. Too much Netflix and reality TV).
In all these commotion and reunions, some doctors have said things that have inspired and stuck to my brain. These are :
- “Receiving a post graduate degree (Masters or Doctorate) is an opportunity, not a right. We as Doctors are very, very territorial & protective of our field. You, as a new graduate student, need to show us -your faculty- how much you want this degree. You must be proactive in your education, not reactive. You must show us that you want to be as good or better and greater than we are. Only then, will you receive that degree. If not, you will be in that group of people that don’t achieve their dreams.” – Doctor who’s name I couldn’t jot down for they spoke to quickly.
- “… We need to grow our way out of the recession. Hence why we should look for a way to better our curriculum, better ourselves (as professors and teachers) from within so that we can give our students the best experience they can receive for their Higher Education” Dr. Ken Hawkingson, Provost & Academic Vice President of WIU.
After all it’s said and done. What do I, Jose Clavell, want out of my Higher Education. What should everybody want out of Higher Education. Sure, you can say jobs, money, prestige. What you should say is. Reinvent myself. We all come for different backgrounds, faiths, walks of life. When it comes to our education we want to reinvent ourselves. We don’t to be ignorant about a subject or a field. We want to know. For ourselves and (here enters the beauty of academia) to share this information. To share what we love, what gets us passionate to somebody. To shed light in a subject people can’t grasp. I want to share my love for literature and choral music to as many people I can.
With a Masters degree (or doctorates) we transform ourselves into experts. Into Scholars in our community. And in this era, where information runs faster than the speed of light, we can diminish the incorrect information that is out there.
“When we learn we can therefore teach. When we teach we ignite curiosity. When you ignite curiosity you ignite a revolution. I believe this world needs a revolution. Let’s start an educational revolution, shall we? ” -J. Clavell