PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS (Funniest thing I read all day)


MONGA——-Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be
considered fever, but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness
is unknown by the American Medical Association and only understood by
doctors of Puerto Rican origin.

PATATU——Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time.
Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet is undetected
by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.

SERENO——Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is
sprinkled by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There
are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the Puerto
Rican elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children
must not be taken out at night without proper headgear or risk of
contamination is certain.

EMPACHE—–Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a
large Puerto rican meal. (alka seltzer is completely ineffective)

CUERPO COLTAO—-Frequent and mild condition of unknown etiology.
Symptoms include but are not limited to fatigue, lack of energy and chronic whining.

MOñO PARAO——Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes
strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.

COCOTAZO—also referred to as the ‘Fuacate’.. The crippling effect
from a closed fist with the middle finger slightly raised above the
others….then comes the quick snap of the wrist. Usually landing on
the top of victims head…..(a favorite of fathers and grandfathers).

CHICHON—–Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall
after a ‘Patatu’. Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected
encounter of the ‘cocotazo’.

If you have not encountered or witnessed these disorders, then you are not a typical Puerto Rican…

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About theartofmusicalpoetry

I'm Jose Clavell, graduate student at Western Illinois University. Pontifical Catholic University of Puerto Rico alumni. Choral Conductor, writer, blogger.

Posted on March 31, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Why don’t you ever link to where you get your stuff from? 😛

  2. Irma R. Rosario

    Hello!
    Me encantó. Gracias.

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